The dark side

In life, there is always up & down. When we are in the high side, we can easily say good things and praise the Lord. It is often difficult to keep praise the Lord when we face difficulties.
I found myself pregnant which really is a good news to our family even though the timing is not in our plan. Then I suddenly being laid off by my boss in Feb. The world seems turn dark suddenly. No work, no money, no justice, being look down upon because I am pregnant? All these thoughts keep in my mind which make me cry every night. I keep asking why and feel helpless. Even though all friends are on my side, I still feel sad.
At that time, I keep praying God what can I do. Still with complain, I learn fast to submit and obey. I understand that there must be a reason for God to do this though I am too stupid to understand.
By March, just left that company, I have red rash over my bodies which make me start to realize how weak am I. I need rest. At that time, all I want is my baby is ok, I don't mind suffer wtih pain or itchness. God make me realize my body condition is the most important for the baby rather than job.
Later that week, our church planning for buying new place for gathering service. Derek & I wants to particiate for money donation but I have no job. We ask God to provide job for me if HE wants us to participate. At the end of that week, I start the locum job which expand my view and provide me money for donation. I work happily alone in my pace and gain more experience. 1 month passed, the money for this month has not been less, I just cannot believe it.
I want to share is: when I am in the dark, I still not learn to praise the Lord immediately, (That 's why I have not update my blog.) But I do realize that God has not leave us even in the dark, He needs us to be humble and surrender to him so he can do his work.
All I can say is God is really very close and try to teach Derek & I a lesson on how powerful He is!