2005 has pasted. 2006 comes, everything is a new start. How many times do we start to count the grace from God?
Usually at the end of the year,we will try to recall how much God has done for us. But this year , for me is a bit different, I try to recall God's grace everyday and then I found that God is really very, very close.
Last November, I found our myself to be a mother, at that moment, everything is really unreal. It happens too fast, we just come here at Sept. start working, found a place to live and have a car, just the start of new life. We have not even think about how to modified our living style before planning for a baby.
I remember we would like to start a prayer plan first. But God's plan is very accurate, I truely feel what is meant by : before U pray, God know already. This baby is really a miracle to us.
Once I am pregnant, I start to feel out of control, I feel really sick and seems no one understand (as I have not talk to anybody yet). My working place has many things need to be aware, the water class, the electical machine ....... The life style I am having, the food I am eating...... How can I make sure these things are ok for the baby? The insecurity is really very strong. But I realize that only God can help. HE knows us when we are in worm, only HE can know my baby and be with him/her. So every morning, I pray with the baby, as I know God will protect him/ her.
As a mother to be, the identity has changed. Before, I can do what I like to, plan what I want to. But now I need to be responsible for the baby. I cannot do what I like, or eat what I feel good. I start to think it is the kind of love that God give us (unconditioned), HE loves us so HE sacrified. I am glad that I have the chance to experience this kind of love. ( I also thank what my mum have done to me) Though it is a long way to go, but it is also a fruitful and sweet way to go.
Hope this mother to be's inner voice would not be too boring!
